Zeničanka

Sa nepunih 19.godina došla sam iz svog rodnog sela u Zenicu sa mužem koji je dobio posao u Željezari. Bilo me je strah. Odvojila sam se od svojih, nikoga nisam znala. Osjećala sam se kao da me svi gledaju. Živjeli smo u željezarskoj kasini nas dvoje. Izrodili smo tri kćeri. Živjeli smo skromno al smo bili sretni.

Ja sam voljela školu ali sam završila 4 razreda, u mom selu se nije se moglo dalje. A imala sam sve petice, dobro mi je išla matematika, a i lijepo sam crtala. Zato mi je najveća  želja bila da moje kćeri izuče škole i da završe fakultet. Djeca su dobro učila školu, a to je jako važno za žensko. Samo nek` imaju svoj hljeb u rukama. Nek` ne ovise ni o kome.

Moglo se živjeti i od muževe plate, ali sam i ja završila kurs šivenja, pa sam šila mojim kćerima da su mi lijepe u školi. Šila sam i sebi a često  i za komšiluk i tako  sam zarađivala još koju paru kako bih ih lakše „školala“. Sjećam se kako smo zajedno prelistavale nove knjige, pregledale šta će se to učiti u novoj godini, zavijale ih u šareni papir da se ne rezderu, mirisale ih… i dan danas osjetim taj miris novih knjiga. Djevojke su s radošću dočekivale svaki početak školske godine.

Bila sam ponosna na njih. Često bih govorila: „Ja ću im sve i prati i kuhati. Neće ih suđe mašiti u životu, imat će kad, a dok sam ja živa i dok mogu, ja ću sve za njih uraditi. Samo nek` uče školu.!

Onda je došao rat. Nije se imalo puno, ali sam prodavala heklanje i nekako smo se snalazili. Samo nek je živa glava. Ono malo para što sam im štedila za fakultet propalo u Ljubljanskoj banci. Al dragi Bog daje nafaku, pa su eto, uspjele upisati studij ovdje, u Zenici. Najsretniji dan u životu mi je bio kad mi je i  treća kćerka završila fakultet. Ona srednja treba da i doktorira ovih dana. Ponosim se njima.

Godine su se poprilično nanizale, ali sam sretna, jer me sve tri moje kćeri paze. Svaka ide i nosi nešto. Zaradile su same i nose majci.

Girl from Zenica

I was hardly 19 when I came from my home village to Zenica with my husband. He got a job at the Steel factory. I was scared. I separated from my family, and I didn’t know anyone. I felt like everyone was looking me. My husband and I lived in a trailer. I gave birth to three daughters. We lived modestly but we were happy. I loved school but I only finished 4th grade. In my village it was impossible to go further. I had all A’s. I did well in math, and I drew nicely.

But my biggest wish was for my daughters to go to school and finish college. The children did well in school, and that is very important for a woman. “As long as they have food in their hands. Let them not depend on anyone.” We could live off of my husband’s salary, but I also earned money. I finished a sewing course, so I sewed for my daughters so they can be pretty in school, and for the neighborhood. That’s how I earned to put them to school easier. I remember how we flipped through new books together, reviewed what would be learned in the new year, wrapped books in a colorful paper so they don’t scratch. Even today, I can smell the new books. The girls welcomed every beginning of the school year with joy. I was proud of them. I would often say: “I will wash and cook everything for the girls, because they will have time to do the same in life, but as long as I am alive and as long as I can, I will do everything for them. Just let them go to school!”

Then came the war. We didn’t have much, but I was selling crochet and we somehow managed. Just as long as we’re alive. The little money I saved for college was lost at Ljubljanska bank. But God sees everything, so the girls managed to enroll in college here in Zenica. The happiest day of my life was when my third daughter finished college. The middle one will soon defend her PhD thesis. I’m proud of them. The years went by quite fast, but I’m happy because all three of my daughters are taking care of me now. Whenever they visit me, each carries a bag full of groceries or something. They earned it all by themselves and they carry it to their mother.